As first time mom, this article is very helpful to me that's why I posted it here. I would just like to add that a mother's instinct is still very effective in raising your kids.by Betsy Shaw
"While I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself wise, I can’t help notice how my, uh, attitude priorities perspective regarding parenting has changed over time. While I was often a hopeless worry wart with my first daughter, I’m more of a hakuna matata mom with my second.
If anything, I’ve learned the importance of self preservation. With my first daughter, I was quick, too quick, to put her needs before mine. My arms could be falling off and I could be famished, but I couldn’t seem to figure out how to put her down while I rested and ate. Putting her down meant hearing her cry.
And hearing her cry meant I was doing something wrong. Right? Wrong.
One of the most enlightening things it took me a while to learn (are you ready for this?) is that children, no matter how tiny they are, are human beings; emotional, irrational, passionate, compulsive human beings. Just like us. Who knew?
If anything, I’ve learned the importance of self preservation. With my first daughter, I was quick, too quick, to put her needs before mine. My arms could be falling off and I could be famished, but I couldn’t seem to figure out how to put her down while I rested and ate. Putting her down meant hearing her cry.
And hearing her cry meant I was doing something wrong. Right? Wrong.
One of the most enlightening things it took me a while to learn (are you ready for this?) is that children, no matter how tiny they are, are human beings; emotional, irrational, passionate, compulsive human beings. Just like us. Who knew?
Anyway… here is my earth shattering list of things I wish I had known sooner than later:
1. Babies often cry themselves to sleep: If I had a dollar for every minute of my life lost by shaking a toy in my infant daughter’s face or pacing the floor with her, rather than putting her down and letting her fall asleep, I would have a good start on my kids’ college fund.
2. Babies cry sometimes for no reason at all and there’s nothing you can do about it: It doesn’t mean you’re unfit for motherhood, or lacking the right motherhood gene. It is what it is.
3. Kids cry out and make noises in their sleep, but that doesn’t mean they’re awake: If you run to their crib to rescue them every time you hear a noise, you risk curtailing a much needed nap. How many times did I do this with my firstborn? I’m not telling.
4. Little kids can be strong willed, stubborn and have an alarming capacity for anger: Relax. Don’t panic. It doesn’t mean they will grow up to be sociopaths so much as it means they are human. Oh the stress I endured believing it wasn’t “normal” for a child to be angry. Duh.
5. Hitting is a natural human response to frustration: Most of us grow out of it eventually.
6. Saying “go away” or “I don’t like you” is a rite of passage for toddlers: Take it personally and you’re a goner.
7. It’s okay to put your baby/toddler down, even if she cries or whines: I have nothing more to say about this. (Dealing with the whining is something I’m still working on.)
8. Never underestimate the power of a snack and a nap: Recognizing when my kids are tired or hungry is possibly the most important skill I’m still working on I’ve mastered."